MATCH 2:
“THE MAD EXPRESS” GIGANT BORGART v. MASCARA EAGLE 2
The pain train keeps on rolling! Last time, we brought you a giant and a butcher. Now, we deliver to your doorstep an international incident of irrational anger! THE COMBATANTS:
GIGANT BORGART
WWE fans will no doubt recognize at least one of the many personas of Gigant Borgart. Professional wrestler Matt Bloom debuted on WWE television in 1999 as “Prince Albert” – the bodyguard and “personal piercer” of fellow wrestler Darren Drozdov. You read that correct; his ring name was a dick piercing pun. Before too long, his name was shortened to just “Albert,” and he formed a tag team with Andrew “Test” Martin: Test & Albert, or “T&A” for short. This team’s name probably had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that they were managed by a little-known fitness model named Trish Stratus.
Albert changed his name to “A-Train” in late 2002 (which probably explains his nickname and profile data in FPWR), a moniker under which he wrestled the Undertaker at Wrestlemania XIX. A-Train was sidelined with a rotator cuff injury and ultimately released in 2004.
So how do we get “Gigant Borgart?” From the screenshot above, astute readers will note that “Gigant Borgart” is listed under the “Olive” category. “Olive” is short for “Olive Japan Wrestling,” which is FPWR’s cutesy way of getting around paying All Japan Pro Wrestling any money. All Japan Pro Wrestling is precisely where A-Train showed up after his time in WWE, wrestling under the name “Giant Bernard.” So there you have it – it’s less a fake name and more straight-up Engrish.
So, what should we expect out of Borgart in this tournament? We know he was big and in Japan, but was he “Big in Japan?”
http://youtu.be/QVmQQNlV3mc
At the time this game was released in 2006, the former Albert was in the middle of an incredible career resurgence. Upon arriving in All Japan, Bernard joined a stable with the very Japanese name of “Voodoo Murders” (probably explaining why he’s in a somewhat similar sounding team called “Budo Madness” in FPWR), and earned the opportunity to wrestle for the AJPW Triple Crown Championship in late 2005. He would continue to compete across Japan to great success, earning numerous accolades in New Japan Pro Wrestling, before returning to the states for a 2 year stint as “Tensai.” He’s now settled into a steady gig as an announcer for WWE’s developmental brand, NXT. So, yeah, he was BIG IN JAPAN. We should expect great things from Mr. Borgart.
MASCARA EAGLE 2
Mascara Eagle 2, which sounds like the sequel to an awesome 80s movie about a crime fighting drag queen, is none other than the wrestler we now know today as Alberto Del Rio. However, in 2007, “Alberto Del Rio” was still wrestling in his native Mexico under the name “Dos Caras, Jr.” The son of Dos Caras, a famous luchardor, Dos Caras Jr. was a well-established superstar of Mexican wrestling when FPWR hit store shelves. Yes, his father is in the game as Mascara Eagle 1.
It’s easy to figure out where MasCARA comes from – but Eagle? I’m not so sure. I can only assume our intrepid “translators” we’re working off of the the long “e” sound in Dos Caras’ real last name, Rodriguez. Who knows.
So he was big in Mexico – but this isn’t Lucha Libre en Fuego, it’s FIRE PRO WRESTLING! Was he big in Japan?
Kinda. While Dos Caras Jr. was undoubtedly a known commodity as a wrestler in Japan, he was more known for his forays into the world of mixed martial arts. The future Mr. Del Rio had a background in amateur wrestling (greco roman, specifically), and put together a nice little side gig on the Japanese MMA circuit. Dos Caras Jr. put together a nice little record of 9-5 before he seemingly hung up the gloves in 2010. Extremely impressive for someone with an active career in pro wrestling!
Unfortunately, all anybody remembers is that he’s dude in the lucha mask that got his head kicked off.
In 2003, the powers that be decided to put Dos Caras Jr. (then with a less than impressive record of 3-2) against Mirko “CroCop” Filipovic, who was, at the time, the most feared heavyweight striker on the planet. Unfortunately, this is all anybody remembers when they talk about the MMA career of Dos Caras Jr., which is unfortunate, because he wasn’t half bad.
So was he big in Japan? Not Borgart big, but big enough that we should expect him to pull out some “legit” maneuvers in this match. Will it be enough to budge Borgart of his base?
LET’S WRESTLING!
Sweet fancy Moses, that wasn’t even close. Maybe there’s a reason this man had so much success once he took his mask off in the WWE – he was probably able to see all those kicks before they were crammed down his throat. Borgart takes it with a two-step kick at the 7:25 mark. I hope Mascara Eagle 2 has some Cononos handy back in the locker room
That’s it for this time, ladies and germs! Next time, it’s the third match of the most terrorizing tour de force in the history of tournaments! Canada’s hero, Blood Love, takes on New Jersey’s own Smasher Gigas! It’s Canadian Bacon vs. Jersey Tomatoes – as God as my witness, someone will be broken in half!