Tag Archives: Bruiser Brody

Fire Pro Wrestling Returns: The Briefcase Cup – Quarterfinals 2

IntroductionMatch 1Match 2Match 3Match 4 Match 5
Match 6Match 7Match 8Match 9Match 10 – Match 11
Match 12 – Match 13 – Match 14 – Match 15 – Match 16
Match 17 – Match 18 – Match 19 – Match 20 – Match 21
Match 22 – Match 23 – Match 24 – Quarterfinal 1

TONIGHT – The herd is thinning, but that doesn’t mean the rage has diminished! It’s quarerfinal CHAOS as we serve up another two-pack of TERROR!

QUARTERFINAL 3: BIG G. BULL v. GREAT SHIBA

BIG G. BULL

  • Nickname: The Brain
  • FPWR Profile: “The stern monster with beastly skills.”
  • Billed Height/Weight: 6’5″/298 lbs.
  • A/K/A: Bruiser Brody
  • Victims: Keiji TogashiStar Bison

If he wasn’t a legend in his own right, we’d call Big G. Bull, FPWR‘s surrogate for Bruiser Brody, a legend killer. His victims include fake Kenta Kobashi, one of the greatest Japanese wrestlers of all time, and quasi Stan Hansen, who may have been the first person to slam André the Giant (sorry – we mean Giant Rozhmov). While “The Brain” has no intention of losing tonight, he’ll need to rely on more than his mental acumen if he wants to take down…

GREAT SHIBA

  • Nickname: Super Giant
  • FPWR Profile: “The giant from India suddenly emerged.”
  • Billed Height/Weight: 7’2/441 lbs.
  • A/K/A: The Great Khali
  • Victims: G.O. BrightKAZUYA

Let no one say that size does not matter. How else could a man that can barely pull off a powerbomb get this far? While Great Shiba, the FPWR friendly version of the Great Khali, has never been known for his wrestling acumen, he has performed quite admirably thus far. He’s defeated stand-in for legendary shooter, Gary Albright! He stood stalwart against the ferocious fury of KAZUYA, an approximation of rising WWE star Hideo Itami! He’s an immovable object in search of an irresistible force! Will Big G. Bull be the man to subjugate the “Super Giant?”


 QUARTERFINALING GO!

Forget a bolt gun, it looks like barbed wire landmines are the best way to take down a bull. With two”Final Powerbombs,” Big G. Bull gives up the ghost at 12:16. Perhaps he can take small comfort in the fact that he made a misnomer out of Shiba’s finishing maneuver.


 QUARTERFINAL 4: SUMO v. KERRY BOGGY

SUMO

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  • Nickname: Giant Hip
  • FPWR Profile: “This Sumo wrestler smashes anything.”
  • Billed Height/Weight: 6’0″/286 lbs.
  • A/K/A: Rikishi, The Sultan, Fatu, Junior Fatu
  • Victims: TattooPapaya Tokuma

Rikishi (2)Rikishi, the wrestler simulated by Sumo, rose to prominence by crushing opponents with his giant “hips” and throwing his weight around. So why is Sumo billed at a mere 286 pounds? We can only assume that this is an error… or perhaps… perhaps he’s an impostor among impostors? Conventional wisdom tells us that muscle is denser than fat… and Sumo is manifestly fat. How could a man carrying around nothing but excess body weight defeat the FPWR version of Sabu and the logical nightmare that is Papaya Tokuma? Something tells me that…

KERRY BOGGY

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  • Nickname: Dr. Nuke
  • FPWR Profile: “His deadly power is atomic.”
  • Billed Height/Weight: 6’4″/298 lbs.
  • A/K/A: Terry Gordy
  • Victims: Kerry TexanCrazy Rose

Terry GordyDr. Nuke will get to the bottom of this. Kerry Boggy, nuclear physicist and clone of van enthusiast, Terry Gordy, has been on a tear. He savagely slaughtered pseudo Terry Funk! He wantonly wasted sort of Scott Hall! The man that belches the loudest cares not about your age, weight, or size. He will put this boot right here upside your head! Let’s find out if there’s any blood left in Sumo’s body, right here on Bad Street!


QUARTERFINALING GO!

Let this be a lesson to all of us – lying about your weight gets you nowhere. Kerry Boggy advances to the semis with a vicious lariat at 10:44!

NEXT TIME: The semifinals!

Fire Pro Wrestling Returns: The Briefcase Cup – Match 21

MATCH 21: “CRAZY BULL” STAR BISON v. “THE BRAIN” BIG G. BULL

IntroductionMatch 1Match 2Match 3Match 4 Match 5
Match 6Match 7Match 8Match 9Match 10 – Match 11
Match 12 – Match 13 – Match 14 – Match 15 – Match 16
Match 17 – Match 18 – Match 19 – Match 20

TONIGHT! The Briefcase Cup reaches drinking age, so crack open an ice cold Steveweiser and get set for ANOTHER calamitous crash of crazed carnage. We’re more full of it than usual, as the “Crazy Bull” Star Bison takes on Big G. Bull! That’s… A LOT OF BULL. Let’s take this big boy by the horns, shall we?

VIOLENCE GET! LARIATOOO!

STAR BISON

Briefcase Cup Match 9 - Harry Texan Jr. v. Star Bison Screenshot 2015-03-22 08-32-17hansenbeltStar Bison, who is Stan Hansen adjace (copyright and trademark, Peter Rosenberg), revolutionized the concept of elder abuse in Match 9, showing little remorse to the aging Harry Texan, Sr. Utilizing his “fatal Western Lariat” to great effect, Bison picked up a a victory at the 14:21 mark. That being said, the fatherly Texan gave as good as he got: Bison didn’t escape the woodshed without a few belt marks on his ass.

BIG G. BULL

Briefcase Cup Match 10 Big G. Bull v. Keiji Togashi Screenshot 2015-03-22 08-30-45brodyhairBig G. Bull, FPWR’s loving tribute to Bruiser Brody, lived up to his pedigree in Match 10, where he absolutely BRUTALIZED Keiji Togashi in a contest that had absolutely no business lasting 9:34. Bull demolished, devoured, and digested his opponent (a surrogate for the legendary Kenta Kobashi), turning him into… well… bullshit. I hope someone laughed at that, I’ve been sitting on it for a long time. His first round performance serves as proof positive that Brody/Bull was held in high regard by FPWR’s developers. He’s an absolute beast in the ring, and undoubtedly the fresher man in this match. Bison’s only hope is to wrap that lariat around Bull’s neck early and often.

LET’S… TEAM UP?

Listen, we’ll shoot straight: we didn’t think this match would come to pass; we simply didn’t think there was any way that Big G. Bull would get past the first round, where he was matched up against one of the greatest Japanese wrestlers of all time. We’re glad he did, though, because it will give us an opportunity to talk about the longtime partnership between Stan Hansen and Frank “Bruiser Brody” Goodish.
GoodishHansen

While Bruiser Brody achieved his greatest success acting like a psychotic viking, entering the ring to an instrumental version of Led Zeppelin’s Immigrant Song, it took him a little while to work his way to that point. He started off his career under his given name, Frank Goodish.  Goodish wrestled under a cowboy persona, which made him a logical partner for Hansen, the one wrestling cowboy to end them all (apologies to Bob Orton). The pieces fit together even more neatly when you consider that both men were former West Texas Buffaloes, a fact which probably played into the names FPWR foisted upon them.

BrodyHansen

Hansen and Brody would team together on numerous occasions, achieving great success in both the United States and Japan:

Hansenbrody

You don’t have to look hard to find evidence of Brody and Hansen’s reign of terror. Just look at some of their matches below:

Here they are beating the the ever-loving Texas out of the Funks (or are they beating the ever loving Funk out of the Texans?):

Here you can see them defeating Mil Mascaras & Dos Caras (the father of our very own Mascara Eagle 2):

…and here they are “Destroying Everyone:”

Sadly, Brody was murdered under mysterious circumstances in 1988. Retroist published an excellent piece on Brody back in July – if you’d like to learn about Frank Goodish’s amazing life and tragic death, it’s highly recommended reading. Brody was truly a bright spot in the world of professional wrestling – but don’t take it from me…

Watching these two fight is the Japanese video game wrestling equivalent of THE MEGA POWERS EXPLODING.


LET’S WRESTLING!

Bull hits a King Kong Knee drop all the way from the land of the ice and snow, from the midnight sun, where the hot springs flow! The hammer of the gods drives Brody to new lands, to fight the hordes in Round 3! VALHALLA, HE IS COMING. Truly, we have witnessed a beastly display of brutality befitting these two legendary badasses.

NEXT TIME: David takes on Goliath as KAZUYA attempts to chop down the Great Shiba!

Fire Pro Wrestling Returns: The Briefcase Cup – Match 10

MATCH 10: “THE BRAIN” BIG G. BULL v. KEIJI “LIGHTNING” TOGASHI

IntroductionMatch 1Match 2Match 3Match 4Match 5
Match 6Match 7 – Match 8Match 9

For the first time in Briefcase Cup history, we’ll see what happens when BIG IN JAPAN meets BORN in Japan. One of America’s finest exports faces of with with a homegrown Japanese hero… TONIGHT.

BIG G. BULL

BruiserBrody

BruiserBloodyBig G. Bull is a dead-ringer for Bruiser Brody. Crazy hair? Check. Taped fingers? Check. Furry viking boots? Check. Bad attitude? Well, we’ll just have to find out. Notably, Big G. Bull employs a “King Kong Knee Drop” as his finishing maneuver. Bruiser, who sometimes competed as “King Kong” Brody, employed that same move to great success:

Big G. Bull is is listed as an “Olive Legend,” which reflects Brody’s status an all-time great in All Japan Pro Wrestling. While Bruiser knew great success all over the world, it’s arguable that he reached the apex of his fame in Japan. If you take a look this list of his accomplishments, you’ll see that Brody had quite a bit of success as a singles competitor in Japan . He held the NWA International Heavyweight Championship – which would later become part of the Triple Crown Heavyweight Championship – three times. Two of those victories came at the expense of the legendary Dory Funk/Harry Texan, Jr.

HansensamuraiAs you can likely infer from the image to the right, Brody was a friend, co-samurai, and frequent tag team partner of Stan Hansen. As we’ve already discussed, Hansen was absolutely huge in Japan, and he and Brody teamed together on numerous occasions. AJPW went as far as to declare them the “world’s strongest tag team” in 1983, and “largest pair of white dudes in Kyoto” in 1985. One of those statements is a lie.

Why is Big G. Bull nicknamed “The Brain?” Probably because of the trail of grey matter that Brusier Brody left in his wake. Some people credit Brody and his longtime rival, Abdullah the Butcher, with inventing what we know today as “hardcore” wrestling. I don’t have the balls to dispute that claim; drop their names into Google, and you’ll find no shortage of disturbing imagery. Here’s a brief highlight of Brody’s legendary brutality:

Brody was a legend all over the world, but he was particularly BIG IN JAPAN; so much so, that after his unceremonious death, over 16,000 fans flooded Budokan Hall in Tokyo to pay tribute to their fallen hero. FPWR will portray Big G. Bull as nothing short a legitimate hoss. Only the sternest competition should be able to beat him.

KEIJI TOGASHI

KentaKobashi

kobashi01Keiji Togashi is more than a reasonable approximation of the legendary Kenta Kobashi. This may be, objectively, the sternest competition we could find.

Aside from the trademark orange tights, there’s plenty of other things that lead us to conclude that that Togashi is a stand-in for Kobashi:

  • Togashi’s nickname is “Lightning.” Kobashi’s nickname is “Burning.” Maybe Kobashi should take some penicillin.
  • Togashi’s organization of choice: NOVA. Kobashi finished out his career in Japan’s Pro Wrestling Noah. Those sure do sound similar!
  • Togashi’s favorite film: Hard to Kill. Kobashi’s favorite film: Out for Justice.
  • Togashi’s favorite musician:Barry Manilow. Kobashi’s favorite musician: Neil Diamond.
  • Togashi’s favorite sport: bocce. Kobashi’s favorite sport: lawn darts.

As if those similarities weren’t enough, they both use the legendary BURNING HAMMER as their finishing maneuver. The Burning Hammer is a move so devastating that Kobashi has only used it seven times:

Take my word for it: this is clearly Kenta Kobashi. Kenta Kobashi may be the greatest wrestler Japan ever produced; I couldn’t tell you why he was BIG IN JAPAN without cataloging his entire career. So let’s try doing this in reverse. In 2005, which is when FPWR was being developed, Ring of Honor broke open its piggy bank and asked Japan to send over its best wrestler to take on indie favorite, Samoa Joe. Japan sent over Kenta Kobashi. The result? The Wrestling Observer Newsletter’s 2005 match of the year. Here’s a clip of the best parts:

That bout was fought under “Marquis of No Blocking” rules, in case you were wondering. Wouldn’t want to get a pinkbelly from Kobashi, no sir. When America needed a big name wrestler during the mid-aughts, they reached out to Kenta Kobashi. He was so BIG IN JAPAN that he was also BIG IN AMERICA.

Well, he sure seems like a worthy opponent. Somebody get me a hot dog and a beer.

THISGONBGUD


LET’S WRESTLING

C’mon, Togashi! I just wrote all those nice things about you! Good God. Sometimes I wish this sport was fixed. We’d get more competitive matches. King Kong ain’t got $#it on the King Kong Knee Drop.

NEXT TIME: Nebraska’s finest takes on India’s most notorious!