MATCH 24 – “THE PLAYBOY” CRAZY ROSE v. “DR. NUKE” KERRY BOGGY
Introduction – Match 1 – Match 2 – Match 3 – Match 4 – Match 5
Match 6 – Match 7 – Match 8 – Match 9 – Match 10 – Match 11
Match 12 – Match 13 – Match 14 – Match 15 – Match 16
Match 17 – Match 18 – Match 19 – Match 20 – Match 21 – Match 22 Match 23
Round 2 comes to its thorny conclusion TONIGHT, as Crazy Rose takes on our favorite nuclear physicist, “Dr. Nuke” Kerry Boggy! It’s our last bio segment, AND WE DO NOT INTENDED TO DISAPPOINT.
VIOLENCE GET! YOU LOST YOUR MIND, CHICO!
We last saw Scott Hall lookalike, Crazy Rose, back in Match 15. There, he tangled with the man called Spike, winning with his signature fallaway slam at the 11:16 mark. While Rose’s victory was undeniably impressive, his opponent tonight is going to be in far better condition, having finished his first match in a mere 3:35! If Rose is going to emerge victorious tonight, he’s going to have to rely on his… intangibles.
During his time as an active competitor, Hall was a master of psychological warfare. And by psychological warfare, I mean throwing toothpicks.
The fact that they never see it coming (he nailed Lex Luger at least three separate times in that video!) shows that Hall, and, by the Fire Pro transitive corollary, Rose, have a keen grasp on what it takes to get in their opponents’ heads and control a match. If Rose can use his intellect to dictate the pace of the bout early, he might have a chance of surviving here.
Hall was also well known for keeping his composure under pressure. Just watch:
That soda hit him clean in the head and HE DIDN’T EVEN FLINCH. A lesser man would have flipped his wig. Hall clearly has nerves of steel and invulnerable hair. He may have had a rough trip through the first round, but he certainly won’t be going in scared. That’s a definite plus when you are up against…
Kerry Boggy, FPWR’s answer to Terry Gordy, holds the Briefcase Cup record for fastest victory. Back in Match 16, he leveled Kerry Texan with a brutal powerbomb in just 3:35! We know he’s the fresher man, and we know he hits like a ton of bricks – but how does he match up against Crazy Rose in the… intangibles department?
Well, he’s the biggest man and the man who belches and stomps the loudest. He also hates stooges with a passion. Hey, don’t take my word for it:
Also, if you touch his van, he’ll kill you.
All of these seem like very good assets to bring into a fight with a master ring psychologist like Crazy Rose.
We don’t have any proof of this, but an anonymous source has advised us that Crazy Rose did, in fact, attempt to touch someone’s van prior to this match. If said van belonged to Boggy,this might explain how he was able to withstand every single move in Rose’s arsenal to pick up a victory via lariat at 10:26. Somehow, this feels like a victory for America.
Next time: THE QUARTER FINALS!